Jess: Fine, I give. The support Amy has for the Hawaii Chair is unreal. One plea from Amy and Couples Snuggie did not have a chance! Even my friends and I are talking about Hawaii Chair on the phone – “What does it do? Who is it for? Have you ever sat in one? Does it really work your abs?” I’ll tell you the same thing I tell them – all you need to do is look up Hawaii Chair on YouTube to find the answers you seek, if you haven’t already.

Even though I am behind the Hawaii Chair to win the Mascots region, I have a newfound appreciation for Tiddy Bear’s commercial. Little known fact: I’ve been cut by a seat belt before. It’s not unlike almost being decapitated by an Aerobie ring, which also happened to me (my childhood is full of narrow escapes like these). Had TB been there to protect me from that seat belt, I might not have had that weird half-burn/half-cut on my neck that lasted for a week, though it would’ve been powerless against the Aerobie ring and my brother’s unbelievable aim. What were you aiming for, bro? My JUGULAR?!

Amy: I do love me some Hawaii Chair.  I’ve got this thing going all the way.  There is nothing anyone can say that can make me think this is *not* the best infomercial of all time.  Granted, I have the final match-up between Hawaii Chair and Slap Chop and…well…my heart is torn about it…but, really, the seriousness of people using this chair WHILE THEY WORK IN AN OFFICE just cracks me up.  Plus, I can picture Ellen’s video every time I watch this and it seriously gives me the giggles.  I just sit here, at my desk, thinking of my office-mates reactions if I were in that chair!! I mean – you just shut your mouth with how much I love the Hawaii Chair.  Too Much.  I have all the love for the Hawaii Chair.  I’m not sure I have love leftover for Twinkies! (ok. That’s not true.)

Sandy: This match-up is not so cut and dry for me.  I have to admit that I wasn’t familiar with either of these products until our tournament.   Hawaii Chair is definitely an interesting one and I agree with Amy that that Ellen’s video is great.   But you’ve got to give credit for someone who actually came up with Tiddy Bear – I mean the name alone right.  I think just to go against all of the cheers for Hawaii Chair, I’m going with the underdog on this one.

Chris: Sandy, as usual, demonstrates both intelligence and aplomb in her description of this match up, and I agree with her. It feels a little bit like we’re being bullied by the fact that Ellen is a “celebrity,” no? And yet Ellen’s not even REPPING the Hawaii Chair! (Repeated @ messages on Twitter to Ellen requesting “comment” or, you know, even an “LOL” went unanswered. Ellen, we still love you. Maybe not the person manning your Twitter account on Thursday September 1st at approximately 5:54pm EST, but that’s a different issue. That said, the Hawaii Chair commercial is a little bit awesome and that bit you did about it on your show is, well, rich.) The criteria (yes I am making these up): Originality? Usability? Cuteness? Tiddy Bear: check, check and check. Ellen, you amuse me and for that I am deeply appreciative, but that has nothing to do with the fact that the Tiddy Bear is going to upset the Hawaii Chair this round.

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Jess: Tiddy Bear beat Forever Lazy, eh? I, for one, saw that coming. Sandy, however did not. And now here we are, and I get to talk about the “inappropriate bear” shaking again. I wish I could’ve been a fly on the wall of that meeting when Tiddy Bear was named. Hmmm…

Meeting Organizer: Ok, everybody. Basically, what we have is a bear that attaches to your seat belt to prevent the belt from digging into your neck and torso, but what do we call it?
Meeting Attendant 1: Neck Protect?
Meeting Organizer: Mmm, no. Sounds like a sunblock.
Meeting Attendant 2: How about Torso Defender?
Meeting Organizer: Yeah, no. That sounds like a superhero. Maybe we should focus on the bear part.
Meeting Attendant 3: Torso Bear? No-no – Torso Teddy.
Meeting Organizer: Ehhh, that’s a little too “lingerie-y,” but I like where you’re going. Teddy….Teddy… What’s a word that sounds like Teddy, but is a part of your body that is protected by our bear?

(long pause)

Meeting Attendant 1: Tiddy Bear?

[End scene.]

Hey, I’m no Bill Shakespeare, but that was a decent dramatization of a meeting that must’ve occurred at some point, no? Or do you think some guy just said – “Teddy Bear, Tiddy Bear. Done.”

Over to you, Sandy.

Sandy: Thanks Jess. So, it turns out Flowbee put up a tough fight with Aspray and has continued on in the bracket. I’ve got to say I’m glad Flowbee won, because I would certainly not want to be a fly on the wall or a fly in the building while they discussed naming Aspray.

I have no idea how they named the infamous hair cutting vacuum attachment Flowbee. However, I can easily defend Flowbee to keep driving forward in the brackets. This infomercial product is a true classic and has its own wikipedia page. I had to check Wiki to see when this product came about and as I thought, it was a late 80’s product and there hasn’t been anything quite like it since. Unfortunately for Flowbee, once perms calmed down I am not so sure it had many customers left, but it clearly still has a lot of fans.

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