Thanks to everyone who played along with us – we had a great time, and we hope you did, too!

There are aliens among us, and they’re voting.

It’s all good, though – this means I can return to my first love Magic Bullet and throw everything I have behind this commercial. Berman, Hazel and the gang are incredibly watchable – I can’t look away, and I think they have everything they need to take Mizu Pods down.

GO TEAM BULLET!

Amy: Wait. What? Were people just voting against my picks to spite me? Is this survey being answered by EVERY EX-BOYFRIEND I’VE EVER HAD?! I’m still befuddled as to how Hawaii Chair lost (I mean: comedy GENIUS) and then Slap Chop? Those are my two favorite infomercials OF. ALL. TIME. And here we are with MIZU PODS? What the? How did that happen?! I’ve got to go Bullet on this because as everyone has stated, it is REALLY watchable. Though, I’m a bit nervous. I mean, Mizu, the dark horse? The underdog? The infomercial commercial that was a wimpy nothing and then got bit by a radioactive spider and is now SuperMercial? It could be. I wouldn’t put it past the sly understated awesomeness that is the Mizu Pods.

For your final consideration –

Magic Bullet:

Mizu Pods:

Magic Bullet vs Tiddy Bear:

I’m feeling pretty good about myself right about now. With Hawaii Chair out of the competition, it’s down to it, and as I sit here on the plane armrest jockeying with the left-hander next to me (seriously? I got the only left-handed guy on the plane who wants to work on his computer? What are the odds? Well, I’ll tell you, they are about the same as the odds that my prediction of Tiddy Bear victory in the previous round would come true. But whaddya know… I mean, HOW. ABOUT. THAT.) We all agree – Berman and the Magic Bullet are far too strong for the Tiddy Bear in this round. This Magic Bullet commercial, it’s like a sitcom. I can’t wait for the next episode.

Also: this submission was late because I had to let my hurt feelings subside after Jess suggested I cheated in the last round.

Slap Chop vs Mizu Pods:

Slap Chop. If you beat the Snuggie, I’m pretty sure a title challenge is headed your way. That’s all I have to say about that. Forrest Gump… OUT.

If you haven’t voted for these matchups yet, click here to do so.

Regardless of what you know or have heard about Vince, he sells Slap Chop in a way that only he can. He makes you feel like this Slap Chop is going to make your life easier, one slap at a time. I don’t have any trouble believing what he’s selling, and I’d be willing to bet that you don’t either.

That said, Mizu Pods has a pretty compelling commercial itself. It’s a unique item that solves a problem in a way you don’t expect, and it solves that problem in FUN COLORS. Everyone wins with Mizu Pods – you get to keep your plants hydrated and your cut flowers fresh while your kids get to feel like they’re seeing something magic happen right before their eyes.

My mom and best friend Alli voted Mizu Pods, as did enough other people to make me think that it’s worth supporting in this round, but I’d be happy with either outcome.

Sandy: Now, Snuggie not making it to the finals is a surprise I did not see coming. I mean, really – Slap Chop over Snuggie? I am not buying it. But if I am forced to pick a winner between Mizu Pods and Slap Chop and we are in an infomercial challenge then I have to go with Slap Chop.

The Slap Chop commercial has enough character to not only stand on its own, but to have parody after parody created. When it comes down to these two, I’ve got to give it to Vince for being able to create a fan base following that seems to love infomercial products as much as him.

Amy: I love the Slap Chop commercial. I’m with Sandy on this one, Vince is an icon. A crazy, wild icon, but an icon nonetheless. You know I love me some Mizu Pods, but this is NOT about which product I love more. It’s about what COMMERCIAL I love more. Vince is a life-changer. He’s like my own personal guru. Just look at these pearls of wisdom from this commercial!

“You’re gonna be slapping your troubles away!”

“Stop having boring tuna, stop having a boring life.”

“This making you cry? It’s making me cry! Life is hard enough as it is, you don’t want to cry anymore.”

How can you not go with the Slap Chop after that? Changing your life, one slap at a time.

I believe that the story of the Magic Bullet commercial is compelling enough to ensure Tiddy Bear’s defeat this round. I like the ease of the conversation between the “hosts” and the “guests.” Sure, they threw in Berman’s hangover and Hazel’s cigarette with permanent ash, but the other people having breakfast (or is it brunch), like that one guy who looks like Rick from Magnum P.I., are just as important to the story of the commercial as anyone. Lots of infomercials tried to get this format to work for them, but very few did it as well as this one, which is one of the main reasons why I think it beat Flavorwave Turbo back in Round 3. Well, that and I think people will listen to anyone with an accent go on and on about things for hours (Planet Earth, anyone?).

Tiddy Bear doesn’t have a commercial that can go on for 30 minutes. Tiddy Bear barely holds my attention for 2 minutes, and that’s mainly because the whole time I’m thinking, “Did they just say…? What? They said Tiddy Bear, right? I heard that correctly? Tiddy Bear? Tid-dy Bear. Wow.” By the time I’m through with my thought process, the commercial is over.

And this match is over, too, for me – Magic Bullet FTW.

Sandy: Well, first I have to say that I am sad to see that our brackets are coming close to an end. Nevermind that my chances of winning are long gone.

But moving on to one of our final battles, I am still shocked Tiddy Bear has made it so far and I think it sadly has met the end of the line. Magic Bullet is just too much of an icon and too compelling to beat. I mean, is there anyone who hasn’t seen the commercial on some lazy Sunday morning and really started thinking to yourself that yeah, I need one of those. I mean, if I had a magic bullet I would be so healthy and instead of sitting here on the couch I would have already finished my 6 mile run and made my fresh strawberry smoothie and moved on to picking fresh basil from my garden for some homemade pesto later that day.

Clearly I’m sold – Magic Bullet moving on!

Amy: Well, you all know how I feel about this one. I’m so OUTRAGED that the Hawaii Chair lost to the Tiddy Bear. I’m, naturally, taking my rage out on the Tiddy Bear personally. Granted, this is a tough one, because I’m also still holding a grudge on the Bullet because it beat the Obama Chia. Man. I really hold on to stuff, I should see someone about that. None of that changes that I have to rate the Tiddy Bear vs. the Bullet. Personal feelings aside, Jess and Sandy are right…Tiddy Bear just doesn’t stand up to the 30 minute marathon that is the Magic Bullet. I’ve watched the full Magic Bullet commercial on my own…more than once. It’s engaging. It’s inspiring…I’m SURE I can make all those items. And the handy little rings-that-turn-it-into-a-cup thingie so you can make and then, IMMEDIATELY, drink your daiquiri…well, that’s just genius. Daiquiris For The Win! I mean…Bullet! Bullet For The Win!

Well, guess what! All of those things happened, and we are now down to four final commercials for your viewing and voting pleasure.

Tomorrow, you can cast your vote on our semi-final matchups, Magic Bullet vs Tiddy Bear and Slap Chop vs Mizu Pods.

Note: The voting window for these matchups is 24 hours, which is much shorter than before, so be sure to get your votes in!

I fully credit Chris with getting people to take notice of the Mizu Pods when they were up against Fast Brite in round 2, and those pods have made their way here, against Magic Mesh. Adorable Boston terrier pup aside – there’s a lot that works for me with the Magic Mesh commercial. The sparkles, the sounds, the problem shots, and…okay, it’s the dog. How cute is that little guy?

I love Boston terriers, and I vote Magic Mesh.

Sandy: Mizu Pods may be amazing, but I’m with Jess because nothing beats a cute dog for me. The dogs steel my vote for Magic Mesh. I just hope those dogs are smart. If not, they are going to have a rude awakening when Magic Mesh comes down and the glass slider is back in action. I mean they go flying through that Magic Mesh.

Amy: You ever put your hands in a vase of Mizu Pods? It’s *amazing.* Nuff said. Mizu Pods, taking Magic Mesh down.

Chris: We’re at risk here of something bigger than us, something beyond our control at work in the universe being at play, because, for the second time in two matches, I agree with Amy. Well, actually, that’s a lie. I’m picking Mizu Pods, but I don’t agree with her (does that count)? I don’t know who, why, when or *under what circumstances* you’d put your hand in vase of Mizu Pods… unless you were an alien from the planet Remulak and were here visiting your uncle Beldar and it was dinner time, but that’s not the point.

The point is, Mizu Pods water your plants for you and do it in festive colors! Sure Magic Mesh has the cute dog and keeps bugs out, but commercial-wise, I’m sticking with the allegedly fun-to-touch Mizu Pods.

It’s basic math:

Blanket + Sleeves + Warm Fleece > Slapping + Chopping + Nuts

I suppose you can try to argue with math, but why would you?

Sandy: Exactly, and that’s why I am not going to argue with math.   I agree Slap Chop doesn’t have a shot in this one.   I am not sure that there will be anything that keeps Snuggie from winning this whole thing.   Snuggie has created a sub-culture and was a revival for ASOTV products.  Slap Chop was just a revival of an old kitchen product.  I’m going with blanket+sleeves+warm fleece.

Amy: Well…I don’t believe in math, so I’m going to go with my gut.  And you know what my gut says?  SLAP CHOP.  That’s right.  Upset!  Is the Snuggie something I want more, use more, enjoy more than the Slap Chop?  Yes.  Yes it is.  But this isn’t a contest about our favorite products.  This is a contest about our favorite commercial.  Snuggie may have everything that makes a good infomercial – the exaggerated “OH NO!” – the black and white struggle shot – the happy music/peppy solution…and it is an amazing commercial in that regard.  BUT it is not as amazing as Vince, flying around the kitchen – the camera guy can’t even keep up with him – he’s chopping, he’s making America healthy, he’s throwing out some potentially racy sayings, he’s talking REALLY fast and making no sense…and I can’t take my eyes off of him.  I’m going Slap Chop…because when it comes down to what this contest is about, this commercial is more entertaining.

Chris: Well there’s a first for everything… because I agree with Amy. Usually she’s pushing celebrities in our face or bragging about her ability to peel eggs with her teeth. Here though? Here she’s simply eschewing what can only be described as questionable math. And hey, if I love anything its the opportunity to argue the validity of a simple inequality statement. Clearly Jess made up this inequality, as there is no mention of whether she is using measure theory or absolute continuity. Because if she *had* done that, she would know that the amount of mirth derived from the Slap Chop commercial is greater than the enjoyment garnered from the Snuggie commercial. Even Hall of Famers lose the pop on their fastball. I’m with Amy on this one (let’s not make a big deal out of it. In fact, I’m going to pretend I never wrote this). Slap Chop it is.

Even though I am behind the Hawaii Chair to win the Mascots region, I have a newfound appreciation for Tiddy Bear’s commercial. Little known fact: I’ve been cut by a seat belt before. It’s not unlike almost being decapitated by an Aerobie ring, which also happened to me (my childhood is full of narrow escapes like these). Had TB been there to protect me from that seat belt, I might not have had that weird half-burn/half-cut on my neck that lasted for a week, though it would’ve been powerless against the Aerobie ring and my brother’s unbelievable aim. What were you aiming for, bro? My JUGULAR?!

Amy: I do love me some Hawaii Chair.  I’ve got this thing going all the way.  There is nothing anyone can say that can make me think this is *not* the best infomercial of all time.  Granted, I have the final match-up between Hawaii Chair and Slap Chop and…well…my heart is torn about it…but, really, the seriousness of people using this chair WHILE THEY WORK IN AN OFFICE just cracks me up.  Plus, I can picture Ellen’s video every time I watch this and it seriously gives me the giggles.  I just sit here, at my desk, thinking of my office-mates reactions if I were in that chair!! I mean – you just shut your mouth with how much I love the Hawaii Chair.  Too Much.  I have all the love for the Hawaii Chair.  I’m not sure I have love leftover for Twinkies! (ok. That’s not true.)

Sandy: This match-up is not so cut and dry for me.  I have to admit that I wasn’t familiar with either of these products until our tournament.   Hawaii Chair is definitely an interesting one and I agree with Amy that that Ellen’s video is great.   But you’ve got to give credit for someone who actually came up with Tiddy Bear – I mean the name alone right.  I think just to go against all of the cheers for Hawaii Chair, I’m going with the underdog on this one.

Chris: Sandy, as usual, demonstrates both intelligence and aplomb in her description of this match up, and I agree with her. It feels a little bit like we’re being bullied by the fact that Ellen is a “celebrity,” no? And yet Ellen’s not even REPPING the Hawaii Chair! (Repeated @ messages on Twitter to Ellen requesting “comment” or, you know, even an “LOL” went unanswered. Ellen, we still love you. Maybe not the person manning your Twitter account on Thursday September 1st at approximately 5:54pm EST, but that’s a different issue. That said, the Hawaii Chair commercial is a little bit awesome and that bit you did about it on your show is, well, rich.) The criteria (yes I am making these up): Originality? Usability? Cuteness? Tiddy Bear: check, check and check. Ellen, you amuse me and for that I am deeply appreciative, but that has nothing to do with the fact that the Tiddy Bear is going to upset the Hawaii Chair this round.

I don’t mind telling you that my Classic region is officially blown – even if Team Bullet wins! Ugh, I should never have bet against Berman. You win some, you lose some. In any case, I’m pulling for TEAM BULLET!

Amy: I knew Leslie Bender and the Bender Ball had some strength behind it.  I mean…mostly because she’s so tough and I feel like if I don’t vote for her commercial, she’ll beat me up, but also because it has REAL woman with testimonials that sound…well…real.  The Bullet…well…it’s just too much.  It’s over the top.  It’s just too acted.  I think the best part of infomercials is where they make you feel like “meh. Yeah.  That could work for me.”  But between Hazel, the smoker and Berman, the drinker…it just takes me out of the moment.  I’m going Bender Ball.  Real life, FTW*!

*For The Win, in case you’re not in the acronym loop!