Note from Admin: Chris is away at a convention in Las Vegas, and if what they say about “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” is true, we’re unbelievably lucky this even made it to us.
Magic Bullet vs Tiddy Bear:
I’m feeling pretty good about myself right about now. With Hawaii Chair out of the competition, it’s down to it, and as I sit here on the plane armrest jockeying with the left-hander next to me (seriously? I got the only left-handed guy on the plane who wants to work on his computer? What are the odds? Well, I’ll tell you, they are about the same as the odds that my prediction of Tiddy Bear victory in the previous round would come true. But whaddya know… I mean, HOW. ABOUT. THAT.) We all agree – Berman and the Magic Bullet are far too strong for the Tiddy Bear in this round. This Magic Bullet commercial, it’s like a sitcom. I can’t wait for the next episode.
Also: this submission was late because I had to let my hurt feelings subside after Jess suggested I cheated in the last round.
Slap Chop vs Mizu Pods:
Slap Chop. If you beat the Snuggie, I’m pretty sure a title challenge is headed your way. That’s all I have to say about that. Forrest Gump… OUT.
Jess: Well, my bracket is dead. Slap Chop beat Snuggie, the commercial I picked to win the whole tournament, and now, I have no more points to earn. That’s ok, though – now I can tell you how I really feel about things with absolutely no agenda whatsoever.
Regardless of what you know or have heard about Vince, he sells Slap Chop in a way that only he can. He makes you feel like this Slap Chop is going to make your life easier, one slap at a time. I don’t have any trouble believing what he’s selling, and I’d be willing to bet that you don’t either.
That said, Mizu Pods has a pretty compelling commercial itself. It’s a unique item that solves a problem in a way you don’t expect, and it solves that problem in FUN COLORS. Everyone wins with Mizu Pods – you get to keep your plants hydrated and your cut flowers fresh while your kids get to feel like they’re seeing something magic happen right before their eyes.
My mom and best friend Alli voted Mizu Pods, as did enough other people to make me think that it’s worth supporting in this round, but I’d be happy with either outcome.
Sandy: Now, Snuggie not making it to the finals is a surprise I did not see coming. I mean, really – Slap Chop over Snuggie? I am not buying it. But if I am forced to pick a winner between Mizu Pods and Slap Chop and we are in an infomercial challenge then I have to go with Slap Chop.
The Slap Chop commercial has enough character to not only stand on its own, but to have parody after parody created. When it comes down to these two, I’ve got to give it to Vince for being able to create a fan base following that seems to love infomercial products as much as him.
Amy: I love the Slap Chop commercial. I’m with Sandy on this one, Vince is an icon. A crazy, wild icon, but an icon nonetheless. You know I love me some Mizu Pods, but this is NOT about which product I love more. It’s about what COMMERCIAL I love more. Vince is a life-changer. He’s like my own personal guru. Just look at these pearls of wisdom from this commercial!
“You’re gonna be slapping your troubles away!”
“Stop having boring tuna, stop having a boring life.”
“This making you cry? It’s making me cry! Life is hard enough as it is, you don’t want to cry anymore.”
How can you not go with the Slap Chop after that? Changing your life, one slap at a time.
Jess: I’ve been writing about Magic Bullet since day 1, so I was pretty comfortable that it would prevail against Bender Ball. However, Tiddy Bear beat Hawaii Chair, and that’s one win I didn’t expect. I could pull the voting logs (yes, they exist) and see how many times Chris voted, but I choose to believe that it was just a simple matter of people liking the Tiddy Bear commercial more than the Hawaii Chair commercial.
I believe that the story of the Magic Bullet commercial is compelling enough to ensure Tiddy Bear’s defeat this round. I like the ease of the conversation between the “hosts” and the “guests.” Sure, they threw in Berman’s hangover and Hazel’s cigarette with permanent ash, but the other people having breakfast (or is it brunch), like that one guy who looks like Rick from Magnum P.I., are just as important to the story of the commercial as anyone. Lots of infomercials tried to get this format to work for them, but very few did it as well as this one, which is one of the main reasons why I think it beat Flavorwave Turbo back in Round 3. Well, that and I think people will listen to anyone with an accent go on and on about things for hours (Planet Earth, anyone?).
Tiddy Bear doesn’t have a commercial that can go on for 30 minutes. Tiddy Bear barely holds my attention for 2 minutes, and that’s mainly because the whole time I’m thinking, “Did they just say…? What? They said Tiddy Bear, right? I heard that correctly? Tiddy Bear? Tid-dy Bear. Wow.” By the time I’m through with my thought process, the commercial is over.
And this match is over, too, for me – Magic Bullet FTW.
Sandy: Well, first I have to say that I am sad to see that our brackets are coming close to an end. Nevermind that my chances of winning are long gone.
But moving on to one of our final battles, I am still shocked Tiddy Bear has made it so far and I think it sadly has met the end of the line. Magic Bullet is just too much of an icon and too compelling to beat. I mean, is there anyone who hasn’t seen the commercial on some lazy Sunday morning and really started thinking to yourself that yeah, I need one of those. I mean, if I had a magic bullet I would be so healthy and instead of sitting here on the couch I would have already finished my 6 mile run and made my fresh strawberry smoothie and moved on to picking fresh basil from my garden for some homemade pesto later that day.
Clearly I’m sold – Magic Bullet moving on!
Amy: Well, you all know how I feel about this one. I’m so OUTRAGED that the Hawaii Chair lost to the Tiddy Bear. I’m, naturally, taking my rage out on the Tiddy Bear personally. Granted, this is a tough one, because I’m also still holding a grudge on the Bullet because it beat the Obama Chia. Man. I really hold on to stuff, I should see someone about that. None of that changes that I have to rate the Tiddy Bear vs. the Bullet. Personal feelings aside, Jess and Sandy are right…Tiddy Bear just doesn’t stand up to the 30 minute marathon that is the Magic Bullet. I’ve watched the full Magic Bullet commercial on my own…more than once. It’s engaging. It’s inspiring…I’m SURE I can make all those items. And the handy little rings-that-turn-it-into-a-cup thingie so you can make and then, IMMEDIATELY, drink your daiquiri…well, that’s just genius. Daiquiris For The Win! I mean…Bullet! Bullet For The Win!
So, did anyone predict that Tiddy Bear would put the Hawaii Chair out of commission? That Slap Chop would slice Snuggie out of the running? That Mizu Pods would soak Magic Mesh’s tournament dreams with its amazing watering technology, or that Magic Bullet would liquify the Bender Ball’s chance at victory?
Well, guess what! All of those things happened, and we are now down to four final commercials for your viewing and voting pleasure.
Tomorrow, you can cast your vote on our semi-final matchups, Magic Bullet vs Tiddy Bear and Slap Chop vs Mizu Pods.
Note: The voting window for these matchups is 24 hours, which is much shorter than before, so be sure to get your votes in!
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